Active Relationship

Posts Tagged ‘Friends’

The first time you meet your boyfriend's friends can be nerve wracking.  You may be nervous about whether or not they will like you, whether or not you will be able to make polite conversation with them and how their opinions of you will affect your relationship with your boyfriend.  These are all valid concerns but it's important to remember that the fact that he has wants you to meet his friends already means that things are going pretty well.  For men, introducing a girlfriend to their friends is a very important step in a relationship.  It says that he cares enough about you to feel comfortable introducing you to his friends as his girlfriend and that he subconsciously is seeking their approval of you.  While men may not talk as openly and freely to their friends as women do, they still value the opinions of their friends so getting along with his friends is critical to your relationship.

The most important way to survive meeting his friends is to relax and just be you.  Men are not as critical or judgmental as women are so there is no need to be phony or pretend to be something you are not.  His friends will appreciate a genuine attitude and will be more willing to accept you for what you are.  For example if you know you will be meeting to watch a football game and you don't know the first thing about football, don't try searching the Internet for information in an attempt to sound more knowledgeable about the subject.  Men will see through this fa?ade and it will lower their opinion of your.  Instead be honest and let them know that you don't know anything about the sport and ask them to explain what is going on in the game.  They will appreciate your honesty and will be flattered that you are asking for their assistance.  Men are more laid back than women in terms of their friendships so when meeting his friends just relax and be yourself.

Another tip to survive meeting his friends is to not go into the meeting with any expectations that you and his friends will hit it off instantly and become best friends.  You may expect to immediately strike up a relationship with them that parallels your relationships with your female friends but these expectations can be over ambitious.  While women value conversation and thoughtful discussions in their friendships, men take a more relaxed approach to their friendships.  Don't be offended if his friends don't seem overly talkative or interested in chatting with you.  This is not necessarily a sign that they don't like you but may just mean that they are not used to a lot of conversation.  Understanding that men are not as talkative, especially initially, as women will help you to survive meeting his friends by keeping you from jumping to the conclusion that they don't like you.

While it is important not to be too talkative when you meet his friends, it's also important not to be too quiet or reserved.  Talking too much can make you seem insincere and nosy but being too quiet can make you seem snobbish.  Don't be afraid to participate in the conversations that your boyfriend and his friends are having but don't try to dominate the conversation either.  Don't expect your boyfriend's friends to go out of their way to include you in their conversation but also don't be afraid to jump in uninvited and offer your opinions.  If you just stand quietly by your boyfriend and don't make the effort to get involved you will probably wind up feeling like an outsider and his friends will think that you are stuck-up and not interested in talking to them.

Perhaps the most important tip for surviving meeting your boyfriend's friends is to not embarrass him with baby talk or pet names around his friends.  While he might not mind this behavior when it is just the two of you, he will likely be embarrassed by it in front of his friends.  Over the top displays of affection and demonstrative pet names may lead to your boyfriend receiving a lot of teasing from his friends.  This can really hurt your relationship with your boyfriend because if they pick on him too much about your behavior, he may begin to pull away from you just to avoid the relentless teasing from his friends.  A woman's friends may tell her outright that they don't approve of her boyfriend but a man's friends don't operate quite the same way.  If they disapprove of his relationship, they will often just tease him relentlessly until he ends the relationship on his own accord.  If you don't want to hurt your relationship with your boyfriend, take precautions not to do anything that will embarrass him in front of his friends and lead to their disapproval of you.

Meeting your boyfriend's friends for the first time can be a critical point in your relationship.  It's important to remember that if they don't approve of you, they may unintentionally lead your boyfriend to sever ties with you.  Conversely, their approval can reaffirm your boyfriend's feelings that you are right for him.  Meeting his friends for the first time can be scary but being honest, being interested in them without being too talkative and not doing anything to embarrass your boyfriend will help you to survive meeting his friends.

No matter how long you have been with the woman in your life meeting her friends can still be stressful.  While your relationship may be thriving it is important to understand that meeting her friends can either make or break your relationship.  It is important to remember that her friends are very important to her and that their opinion of you may have an affect on her opinion of you.  Making a good impression on her friends and gaining their trust will ensure that they don't do anything that can be detrimental to your relationship.

Having confidence and introducing yourself to your wife or girlfriend's friends is the first step to survive meeting her friends.  You already realize that these people are important to the woman in your life so go ahead and take the initiative and introduce yourself.  This is critical because it lets them know right away that you have confidence and that you are not intimidated by them.  It may also impress them by letting them know that you are interested in getting to know them and that you aren't simply putting on a charade because your wife or girlfriend is insisting that you meet them.

Once you have become acquainted with her friends, be sure to remember their names.  If you aren't good with names, use whatever association tricks you have to and make sure you don't mix up their names later on in the conversation.  They may all dress and act alike but being unable to distinguish them sends the message that you aren't really interested in getting to know them.  Calling one of your girlfriend's friends by the wrong name can be almost as damaging as calling your girlfriend by the wrong name.  Not only will the friend be insulted and no longer rooting for you and her friend to get along but your girlfriend may be hurt that you couldn't even be bothered to remember her friend's name.

Another tip for surviving meeting the friends of your wife or girlfriend is truly involve yourself in their conversations instead of just being there and trying to stay out of the conversation.  Like taking the initiative in introducing yourself, this also conveys the message that you are interested in getting to know them.  Taking an active part of the conversation demonstrates that you are listening intently and that you care about what they have to say.  Your girlfriend will appreciate the effort you are making to get to know her friends and more importantly her friends will not have a reason not to like you, at least initially.

It's important to not ignore your girlfriend when you are with her friends if you want to survive meeting her friends.  She may want you to take an interest in her friends but if you go too far and alienate your girlfriend you may doom your relationship.  Getting along with her friends is one thing but if she senses you are flirting with them, she may become jealous and it can cause problems in your relationship.  Exercise caution when meeting your girlfriend's friends and take an interest in getting to know them but do not go overboard and appear too interested in her friends.

Still another tip for surviving meeting the friends of your girlfriend is to listen carefully in your initial meeting and try to retain as much information about them as possible.  After the meeting when you are alone with your girlfriend make a casual comment or ask a question relating to your earlier meeting with her friends.  This will let your girlfriend know that you really were listening and that you have a genuine interest in befriending her friends.

Your girlfriend's friends will play an important role in whether or not your relationship with her survives.  Women value the opinions of their friends greatly and if you don't make a good impression on her friends, they may convince her that you aren't right for her.  It's important to make a genuine effort to get to know her friends because their opinion of you can either make or break your relationship with your girlfriend.  It is important to start a courteous and respectful relationship with them because you will most likely be spending quite a bit of time with them while you are with your girlfriend.