Active Relationship

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You may not be looking forward to meeting your boyfriend’s parents for the first time but this is a crucial moment in your relationship and it’s very important that you make a good first impression.  A woman may be apt to introduce her new boyfriend to her parents earlier in a relationship than a man introduces his girlfriend to his parents.  This is because women talk more openly about their lives to their parents so they most likely view this meeting as just a chance for three important people in her life to get together and meet.  Men, on the other hand, are less likely to talk openly to their parents so to them introducing their girlfriend is a monumental step that indicates that his new girlfriend is serious.  While this is a huge step in a relationship, it’s important remember that his parents are no different than any other people you have met in your lifetime, so just be yourself and you will survive this meeting unscathed.

Since this is such an important step in a relationship, it’s important to realize that your boyfriend’s parents also recognize the significance of this meeting and will be observing you closely during this meeting.  However, don’t let this intimidate you as your boyfriend already loves you so there is no real reason for his parents not to feel the same way.  Understand that they will be scrutinizing you but also know that being yourself and not putting on any false airs is the best way to survive meeting his parents.  If you have been true to yourself thus far in your relationship with your boyfriend then he already approves of your personality and character traits so don’t be afraid to let the real you shine through when meeting his parents.  They are most likely similar to him in personality so if he likes you rest assured that they will too as long as you are up front and honest with them.

In meeting your boyfriend’s parents for the first time, it’s important to let him take the lead in discussing the status of the relationship.  While the two of you may have already begun discussing marriage or moving in together, he may not be ready to share this information with his parents yet.  Don’t make the assumption that he has already discussed your relationship with them and that he is comfortable letting them know what stage your relationship is at and what plans you have the future.  Bringing up topics that he is not yet ready to share with his parents can make the situation awkward for everyone involved.  Just follow his lead and don’t offer any information about your future plans unless your boyfriend brings up the subject.

Another key to survive meeting his parents is to understand that he is allowed to be critical of them but you are not.  Your boyfriend may complain incessantly about his parents but deep inside he knows that he loves them and is just venting about certain things that may bother him.  He may leave their house after the meeting complaining about the way his mother asked a lot of nosy questions about your relationship but if you jump in and are critical of his mother he may quickly become defensive.  Even if you are just agreeing with what he is saying, he may still be offended by your opinions.  Understand that your boyfriend loves his parents and may be bothered by them at times but that it is not acceptable for you to be critical of them.  Of course, if they do or say something outright to offend you, it is acceptable to stick up for yourself and let them know their words or actions are unacceptable.

Avoiding controversial issues is also critical to surviving meeting your boyfriend’s parents.  Topics that elicit a highly emotional response are never a good idea when meeting someone new for the first time.  If you have opposing viewpoints, then things can become heated and uncomfortable very quickly.  Even if you feel the same way about the issue, it may lead to the topic dominating the conversation and the four of you not really getting a chance to talk about anything else or really get to know each other.  Steering clear of emotionally charged issues when meeting your boyfriend’s parents will keep the meeting calm and help things to go smoothly.

Meeting your boyfriend’s parents is a critical step in a relationship.  Wanting to introduce you to his parents lets them know that he considers the relationship to be pretty serious and that he is hoping that you can all get along.  While he is not necessarily seeking their approval of you, knowing that you can get along with his parents can be a big step in your relationship.  Many men are non-confrontational in their relationships so if it’s clear that you and his parents don’t get along, he may become wary of your relationship because he doesn’t want to end up spending a great deal of time getting the three of you to learn to get along.  After all they have been a part of his life for a long time and will continue to be a part of his life so severing ties with you may be easier than doing so with them.

The first time you meet your boyfriend’s friends can be nerve wracking.  You may be nervous about whether or not they will like you, whether or not you will be able to make polite conversation with them and how their opinions of you will affect your relationship with your boyfriend.  These are all valid concerns but it’s important to remember that the fact that he has wants you to meet his friends already means that things are going pretty well.  For men, introducing a girlfriend to their friends is a very important step in a relationship.  It says that he cares enough about you to feel comfortable introducing you to his friends as his girlfriend and that he subconsciously is seeking their approval of you.  While men may not talk as openly and freely to their friends as women do, they still value the opinions of their friends so getting along with his friends is critical to your relationship.

The most important way to survive meeting his friends is to relax and just be you.  Men are not as critical or judgmental as women are so there is no need to be phony or pretend to be something you are not.  His friends will appreciate a genuine attitude and will be more willing to accept you for what you are.  For example if you know you will be meeting to watch a football game and you don’t know the first thing about football, don’t try searching the Internet for information in an attempt to sound more knowledgeable about the subject.  Men will see through this fa?ade and it will lower their opinion of your.  Instead be honest and let them know that you don’t know anything about the sport and ask them to explain what is going on in the game.  They will appreciate your honesty and will be flattered that you are asking for their assistance.  Men are more laid back than women in terms of their friendships so when meeting his friends just relax and be yourself.

Another tip to survive meeting his friends is to not go into the meeting with any expectations that you and his friends will hit it off instantly and become best friends.  You may expect to immediately strike up a relationship with them that parallels your relationships with your female friends but these expectations can be over ambitious.  While women value conversation and thoughtful discussions in their friendships, men take a more relaxed approach to their friendships.  Don’t be offended if his friends don’t seem overly talkative or interested in chatting with you.  This is not necessarily a sign that they don’t like you but may just mean that they are not used to a lot of conversation.  Understanding that men are not as talkative, especially initially, as women will help you to survive meeting his friends by keeping you from jumping to the conclusion that they don’t like you.

While it is important not to be too talkative when you meet his friends, it’s also important not to be too quiet or reserved.  Talking too much can make you seem insincere and nosy but being too quiet can make you seem snobbish.  Don’t be afraid to participate in the conversations that your boyfriend and his friends are having but don’t try to dominate the conversation either.  Don’t expect your boyfriend’s friends to go out of their way to include you in their conversation but also don’t be afraid to jump in uninvited and offer your opinions.  If you just stand quietly by your boyfriend and don’t make the effort to get involved you will probably wind up feeling like an outsider and his friends will think that you are stuck-up and not interested in talking to them.

Perhaps the most important tip for surviving meeting your boyfriend’s friends is to not embarrass him with baby talk or pet names around his friends.  While he might not mind this behavior when it is just the two of you, he will likely be embarrassed by it in front of his friends.  Over the top displays of affection and demonstrative pet names may lead to your boyfriend receiving a lot of teasing from his friends.  This can really hurt your relationship with your boyfriend because if they pick on him too much about your behavior, he may begin to pull away from you just to avoid the relentless teasing from his friends.  A woman’s friends may tell her outright that they don’t approve of her boyfriend but a man’s friends don’t operate quite the same way.  If they disapprove of his relationship, they will often just tease him relentlessly until he ends the relationship on his own accord.  If you don’t want to hurt your relationship with your boyfriend, take precautions not to do anything that will embarrass him in front of his friends and lead to their disapproval of you.

Meeting your boyfriend’s friends for the first time can be a critical point in your relationship.  It’s important to remember that if they don’t approve of you, they may unintentionally lead your boyfriend to sever ties with you.  Conversely, their approval can reaffirm your boyfriend’s feelings that you are right for him.  Meeting his friends for the first time can be scary but being honest, being interested in them without being too talkative and not doing anything to embarrass your boyfriend will help you to survive meeting his friends.