Active Relationship

Posts Tagged ‘Love’

This is a tale of a man who spent most of his days finding a perfect partner for himself on the Cyberspace. This man is obviously the writer of this article. I just thought I will share the story of how I met my true love through internet dating. Read the rest of this entry »

A couple of years ago I remember the looks of pity my friend Jennifer would get when she mentioned she'd been trying an online dating site. I must admit, at the time, I too thought she must be desperate; couldn't she meet anyone in 'real' life? Didn't she meet people at work, or at parties? Read the rest of this entry »

There's nothing like the feeling that a crush brings. For a teenager, those feelings are exciting and hopeful; for parents of teens, those feelings may center more on anguish and worry. Whether you are experiencing your first spark of love or are struggling to find the best way to deal with your child's foray into dating, read on for the best teen love advice.

We all have our own romance ideas about what makes a relationship special and successful. At age 16, those ideas may be very different than our criteria at age 46, but it's important to recognize that what we experience during our first real romantic relationship can set the tone for how we conduct our love life going forward.

If you are a parent with a teenager in love, there are a few guiding principles that you can use to both foster and monitor the relationship. The first, of course, is to provide a solid example of what a loving, respectful relationship looks like. Children learn from the models with which they are presented. To ensure that your teen relationship advice is accepted, you must follow the proverb of "practicing what you preach."

You can hardly expect your teenager to make thoughtful decisions about dating practices if you have not. If you are married, ensure that you and your spouse are respectful and supportive of each other. Try to communicate effectively so your teen can see what a healthy argument looks like. Remember to keep a balance of activities that keep you happy as both a couple and individuals.

If you are single but dating, be sure that your dating practices mirror what you want your child to do. Choose potential partners using reputable resources or introductions through trusted friends or loved ones. Slowly get to know a potential suitor through phone calls, and ensure that the first date is both casual and held in a public place. Providing an example of healthy dating will influence your teen more than any words ever could. A teenager can sense when a double standard is being presented.

Above all, the best teen love advice is to cherish and love yourself, for only when we truly respect and care for ourselves can we care for others. If you are a teenager in love, it's a fun and insightful exercise to write down all of the things that you adore about your boyfriend or girlfriend, and then circle any of the same qualities that you feel that you posses. As humans, we often choose people that we feel are on our level—socially, intelligence wise and in terms of looks. Make sure that your crush can offer you as much as you offer them. That way, you can grow and learn from each other.

To deepen the connection you have with a boyfriend or girlfriend, its fun to talk about future goals together. For instance, does he or she want to go to college? What would they study? What is their dream job? When you know these things about a person, you can help them stay focused on their goals. An important piece of teen love advice is remembering that loving someone means wanting them to be happy and most people are happiest when their opportunities are unlimited.

Consider this in your own life: Would you rather your parents tell you "no" when you bring up something you'd like to or would you rather they support you and say "yes"? If your boyfriend wants to spend the summer at a sailing camp or your girlfriend wants to take some fashion design classes over spring break, even if it means that you'll be apart for a short time, support the decision that you think will make them happy.

Remember, too, that love is honest, and that means being honest with each other, as well as with your friends and family. If your boyfriend or girlfriend makes you keep any part of your relationship secret, then that is a sign that they may not have your best interest at heart.

The best teen love advice is largely common sense, but when the endorphins that love brings go rushing around your brain, sometimes it's difficult to keep a relationship in perspective. Above all, as a teen in love, your boyfriend or girlfriend should add to your life, not take away from it. Anyone who asks you to give up friends, time with family, school work or activities that you enjoy may not be the best match.

Saying 'I love you' to your partner can mean a lot but doesn't really convey very much.  What you need to consider is that 'love' is a verb - a 'doing' word.  So instead of telling the love of your life that you love them, why not show them by your actions!

What is it that your partner craves most?  Is it 10 minutes peace and quiet in the morning to scan the newspaper whilst they drink their coffee?  Think about how you could arrange that for them.  Not every morning, that would start to become a routine.  Rearranging the usual schedule once in a while so that you take a cup of coffee and the newspaper to them in bed as they wake up, and let them enjoy it whilst you take care of the normal morning routine however, is a great way of starting the day with a silent 'I love you'.

Would your partner love to have a bubble bath before bed, but is usually so tired by the time she's finished with the chores that she just jumps into the shower before collapsing into bed?  While she's busy with other things, run that bubble bath for her.  Light a few candles if you have them.  Fluff up a couple of towels; leave a magazine and something to drink near the tub.  Once you're prepared, go and collect her, and leave her to enjoy the soak whilst you finish up whichever chore she was busy with.

Does your partner have a favorite hobby?  When you're doing the grocery shopping add a magazine associated with this to your shopping cart and leave it on their chair to see when they come home.   On a similar theme, if your partner has mentioned wanting to join an association or organization for their hobby but hasn't managed to find the money to do so, put a little money aside each week until you have enough and then send off the application form.  Imagine the surprise when the membership pack arrives!

Is there something that your partner hates to do - for example, washing the car, vacuuming the floor, bathing the dog, etc?  Next time it's time for it to be done, wait until they're out of the way and then do it - no questions, no discussion, no warning - it's just done!

Often the smallest gestures can mean a lot.  For example, running your finger softly down the cheek of your loved one as you pass, or placing your hand on theirs as you sit in a restaurant.  Think about your body language with your partner.  Do you keep out of each other's space outside of intimate moments, or are you obviously a couple wherever you go together?  Whilst public shows of affection aren't for everyone - couples and observers alike - taking your partner's hand whilst you walk through the mall, or opening your partners car door for her and treating her as if she's someone special, shows your partner that you're proud to be with them.  That's another unspoken 'I love you'.

Whilst big gestures such as 'I love you' banners flown from aircraft, weekends at luxury spas or mini-breaks to a different city are very nice, nothing says I love you more than doing something that has added extra work to your day to create a treat for your partner.  Not only do they appreciate that you did this for them, but they also know that you love them enough understand what it is that will make them happy.  That's love, the verb, at work!

Merriam-Webster's dictionary defines love as, 'strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties,' and defines lust as, 'an intense longing'.  These two conflicting definitions help to separate love from lust.  By definition alone the two differ in that, love is based on an affinity while lust is based solely on desire.  The two also differ in how they affect a relationship but sometimes it becomes difficult to separate the two because lust can exist in the presence of love.  Analyzing a loving relationship and a lustful relationship separately will help us to learn to distinguish love from lost.

Love has a positive affect on a relationship because when love exists in a relationship both partners hold the happiness of the other in a high esteem and place the happiness of their partner ahead of their own desires.  Love affects relationships in a myriad of ways including how the couple interacts, the leisure activities they participate in and the longevity of the relationship.  In a loving relationship the couple behaves thoughtfully towards each other and is mindful of their partner's feelings.  In this type of relationship, each partner places themselves ahead of their partner and they strive to treat each other lovingly and with respect.  Also, in a loving relationship the leisure activities that the couple participates in are based on a mutual love and respect.  Activities are chosen with careful consideration to the partner's feelings.  In a loving relationship the partners typically engage in activities that they either either strongly agree on or those that are a compromise.  While a couple in a loving relationship may not always be in complete agreement regarding leisure activities, they strive to compromise to ensure that both partners have the opportunity to engage in their preferred activities.  Finally a relationship that is based on love is usually long lasting.  The presence of love in the relationship enables a couple to work through any problems or difficulties that arise in the relationship and helps the relationship to endure.  The thoughtfulness and caring that exists in a loving relationship helps the relationship to grown and endure.

Conversely a lustful relationship may not necessary have a negative affect on a relationship but it also may not be as positive as a loving relationship.  Similarly to love, lust also affects a relationship in regard to how the couple interacts, the activities the couple participate in and the durability of the relationship.  The primary difference between a lustful and a loving relationship is that while in a loving relationship the partners place a high value on the happiness of their partner, a lustful relationship is one in which the partners are consumed by their own desires.  The partners in a lustful relationship place their needs and wants ahead of their partner's desires.  This alone is enough to make their partner feel disrespected and to not place a high value on the relationship.  The fundamental selfishness that exists in a lustful relationship trickles down and affects the activities in which the couple participates.  While those in a loving relationship strive to compromise and find activities that they both enjoy, those in a lustful relationship are more prone to insist on participating in activities that they enjoy regardless of whether or not their partner will also enjoy this activity.  One final characteristic of a lustful relationship is that it is typically short lived.  A lustful relationship is driven by passion and desire and once a goal is reached the partner becomes no longer desirable.  With nothing else to drive the relationship it soon begins to wane and the couple often separates.  Lustful relationships are characterized by a selfishness and lack of respect that typically results in a short and tumultuous relationship.

Complicating the issue of separating love and lust is that it is often possible for lust to exist within a loving relationship.  The existence of lust within a loving relationship is often driven by a desire to become closer to the partner.  This is a natural occurrence as a physical relationship is extremely important in a romantic relationship.  When lust exists within a loving relationship it is not necessarily detrimental to the relationship.  As long as the lust does not take over the love and become the dominant characteristic it can be a healthy part of the relationship.  The opposite is not true, however.  A lustful relationship can not also include love.  The primary characteristic of selfishness does not enable love to factor into a lustful relationship.  Placing your own desires ahead of your partner's precludes the formation of a loving bond.  While it's not possible to have a lustful relationship with the existence of love a little bit of lust mixed into a loving relationship can lead to a closer connection and stronger bond for the couple.

Separating love from lust can be complicated but the key factors to remember is that a loving relationship is one based on selflessness and thoughtfulness while a lustful relationship is characterized by selfishness and thoughtlessness.  These fundamental differences often affect whether or not a relationship will be long lasting and will endure the test of time.  The separation of love from lust is further complicated by the fact that lust can exist in a loving relationship.  The opposite, however, is not possible.  Understand that lust can factor into a loving relationship and have a positive affect on the relationship is key to understanding the differences between love and lust.