Active Relationship

Posts Tagged ‘Parents’

You may not be looking forward to meeting your boyfriend's parents for the first time but this is a crucial moment in your relationship and it's very important that you make a good first impression.  A woman may be apt to introduce her new boyfriend to her parents earlier in a relationship than a man introduces his girlfriend to his parents.  This is because women talk more openly about their lives to their parents so they most likely view this meeting as just a chance for three important people in her life to get together and meet.  Men, on the other hand, are less likely to talk openly to their parents so to them introducing their girlfriend is a monumental step that indicates that his new girlfriend is serious.  While this is a huge step in a relationship, it's important remember that his parents are no different than any other people you have met in your lifetime, so just be yourself and you will survive this meeting unscathed.

Since this is such an important step in a relationship, it's important to realize that your boyfriend's parents also recognize the significance of this meeting and will be observing you closely during this meeting.  However, don't let this intimidate you as your boyfriend already loves you so there is no real reason for his parents not to feel the same way.  Understand that they will be scrutinizing you but also know that being yourself and not putting on any false airs is the best way to survive meeting his parents.  If you have been true to yourself thus far in your relationship with your boyfriend then he already approves of your personality and character traits so don't be afraid to let the real you shine through when meeting his parents.  They are most likely similar to him in personality so if he likes you rest assured that they will too as long as you are up front and honest with them.

In meeting your boyfriend's parents for the first time, it's important to let him take the lead in discussing the status of the relationship.  While the two of you may have already begun discussing marriage or moving in together, he may not be ready to share this information with his parents yet.  Don't make the assumption that he has already discussed your relationship with them and that he is comfortable letting them know what stage your relationship is at and what plans you have the future.  Bringing up topics that he is not yet ready to share with his parents can make the situation awkward for everyone involved.  Just follow his lead and don't offer any information about your future plans unless your boyfriend brings up the subject.

Another key to survive meeting his parents is to understand that he is allowed to be critical of them but you are not.  Your boyfriend may complain incessantly about his parents but deep inside he knows that he loves them and is just venting about certain things that may bother him.  He may leave their house after the meeting complaining about the way his mother asked a lot of nosy questions about your relationship but if you jump in and are critical of his mother he may quickly become defensive.  Even if you are just agreeing with what he is saying, he may still be offended by your opinions.  Understand that your boyfriend loves his parents and may be bothered by them at times but that it is not acceptable for you to be critical of them.  Of course, if they do or say something outright to offend you, it is acceptable to stick up for yourself and let them know their words or actions are unacceptable.

Avoiding controversial issues is also critical to surviving meeting your boyfriend's parents.  Topics that elicit a highly emotional response are never a good idea when meeting someone new for the first time.  If you have opposing viewpoints, then things can become heated and uncomfortable very quickly.  Even if you feel the same way about the issue, it may lead to the topic dominating the conversation and the four of you not really getting a chance to talk about anything else or really get to know each other.  Steering clear of emotionally charged issues when meeting your boyfriend's parents will keep the meeting calm and help things to go smoothly.

Meeting your boyfriend's parents is a critical step in a relationship.  Wanting to introduce you to his parents lets them know that he considers the relationship to be pretty serious and that he is hoping that you can all get along.  While he is not necessarily seeking their approval of you, knowing that you can get along with his parents can be a big step in your relationship.  Many men are non-confrontational in their relationships so if it's clear that you and his parents don't get along, he may become wary of your relationship because he doesn't want to end up spending a great deal of time getting the three of you to learn to get along.  After all they have been a part of his life for a long time and will continue to be a part of his life so severing ties with you may be easier than doing so with them.

Meeting your girlfriend's parents for the first time can be difficult but it's important to remember that impressing her parent's may be crucial to your relationship.  While meeting her parents may seem like a big step, it may not be as monumental as it appears.  Women value the relationships they have with their families and respect the opinions of family members regarding their boyfriends.  Wanting you to meet her parents may be more about getting their opinions on you as it is about making a serious commitment.  Consequently, it is in your best interest to do everything in your power to impress her parents.

Doing your homework and asking your girlfriend plenty of questions about her parents before the initial meeting is the first step to surviving meeting her parents.  This gives you the opportunity to learn a little about her parents before you even meet them.  This preparation will pay off immensely because it will enable you to avoid anything that you know will be a touchy subject and brush up on subjects that are of interest to them.  Knowing a little about their interest beforehand will give you a chance to bring up some of these interests to impress her parents.  A bonus to this tactic is that your girlfriend will be flattered that you are showing an interest in her parents before you even meet.  A few tidbits of personal information obtained before the initial meeting will really help you to survive meeting your girlfriend's parents.

When the day of the meeting arrives, be sure to dress to impress but also dress appropriately.  A sloppy appearance may be damaging to your potential relationship with your girlfriend's parents because they may be insulted by your appearance before you even open your mouth to speak.  Failing to take care in your appearance is a sign of disrespect to many people so exercise caution and dress nicely for your first meeting with your girlfriend's parents.  Taking care in your appearance is important to surviving a meeting with your girlfriend's parents but dressing appropriately for the situation is also important.  For example a pair of dress pants and a button down shirt would be appropriate for a lunch meeting but would look ridiculous on a tennis court.  Be sure to know exactly what is planned for the meeting so that you can not only dress well for the occasion but also appropriately.  It's important to remember that first impressions do count and that a well groomed appearance can help you survive meeting your girlfriend's parents.

Bringing an appropriate gift on your first meeting may also help you to survive meeting the parents of your girlfriend.  A little bribery never hurt so try to find out what they might like so that you can choose an appropriate gift.  If you are unable to obtain information about what type of gift they would like, flowers are always a welcomed gift and are very appropriate in this situation.  Bringing a small gift when you meet your girlfriend's parents can help you get the relationship off on the right foot.

Take care to avoid conversation topics that can be controversial.  In general religion, politics and sex are topics to avoid.  The last thing that you want to do is to spend your first meeting debating political issues.  While this may be an activity you normally enjoy, getting involved in a heated debate with your girlfriend's parents is definitely not a good idea.  Keep the conversation light and you will most likely survive meeting her parents.

Finally, try not to be too affectionate with your girlfriend when meeting her parents.  While she may be a grown woman, she is also their daughter and many parents would not be comfortable with overt displays of affection.  Too much affection can send the wrong message to her parents and put them on guard regarding you.  This can be detrimental to your relationship with your girlfriend because she will sense tension between you and her parents.

If you want to ensure a long lasting relationship with your girlfriend it is important to establish a good relationship with her parents.  Creating a good first impression and not giving them any reason not to like you, will lead them to approve of you and not send their daughter any subtle signals that they don't think you are right for her.  It is likely that your girlfriend will be influenced by her parent's opinions so establishing a good relationship with them is critical to your relationship with your girlfriend.