Active Relationship

Posts Tagged ‘Partner’

When you find someone that you really like, you can use the term this one is a keeper. Well, once you find someone you really love and that someone is really good to you want to hold onto that person and you don’t want to lose them. But what can you do to hold on to them. There are no rules and no guidelines to help you hold on to them. All you can do is do what you are doing. Treat them with respect and love them as you want to be loved yourself. You know the saying do unto others as you would have done unto you. This applies.

If you are dating someone for a long time and the relationship seems to be progressing then just keep on doing what you are doing, if it’s not broke don’t fix it. Let things go on the way they have been. Don’t think about how good things are just live your life and let the relationship progress. Don’t do anything that you know is going to make the other person mad. We are not saying walk on eggshells we mean, don’t commit the relationship no-no’s . Don’t lie, cheat or steel or do anything that you know is going to cause problems.

Holding onto someone you love is a lot of work. Making a relationship work is hard. If you have a job that requires you to spend a lot of time in the office, plan a special day where you and your partner spend all day together, no cell phones, no computers just the two of you.  Spending quality time together will keep you together. Keep the relationship fresh, do something romantic, have a nice home cooked candlelight dinner with flowers and their favorite meal and then a special night with candles and soft music, you can fill in the blanks.

Relationship killers are when you spend too much time working, too much time on the phone when you are together. If you want to have friends over for dinner, ask your partner first don’t spring it on them that Tom and Helen are coming in 20 minutes. Always keep a good line of communication open. Always be considerate of the other’s feelings and always say I love you at least 5 times or more a day. Send them an I love you text message. Write a note and leave it in their car so when they get in to go to work they will see it. Try to do something romantic as often as you can. Once you start doing it they will start and you will have romance everywhere.

There often is not a lot of romance in relationships especially when you have kids. Hire a babysitter and go out or send the kids to Grandma’s and have a romantic night at home. You do what you can as much as you can as long as the love is there you don’t have to worry.

Finding the right one when it comes to partners isn’t easy, but what usually complicates the situation is that you aren’t really sure what the ‘right one’ is like.  If you don’t have a focused idea of the kind of partner you’re looking for, you aren’t likely to recognize them even if you fell over their feet in the coffee shop.  Defining your dream partner isn’t about setting an ingredients list in stone, but rather thinking about the sort of person your ideal partner would be, creating a mental check-list so that you don’t spend a lot of time dating people who fall a long way from that list.  Take a look at the following steps and see how easy it is to define your dream partner.

Step 1:    What’s the most important attribute that your dream partner must have.  Unlike the other attributes you will put on your list, this is the one unshakable thing that your partner has to have.  The idea here is that this is going to be something important to you and it will help you to immediately narrow your search down to only the potential partners who have this personality trait or physical characteristic.  Remember, this is something that is un-negotiable – something such as a ‘non-smoker’ or even someone who does smoke, or someone who doesn’t have a prison record, or isn’t allergic to cats, or think even deeper than this, the person you are looking for must like and want children (or not!).

Step 2:    What physical/personal characteristics are important to you.  Make a list.  Long hair, short hair, talkative, reserved, tall, athletic, sexy smile, nice accent, etc.  What would make the ideal partner you.  Try and get a picture in your mind.  You probably aren’t going to find a person with all of these things, but what you are trying to identify is what really attracts you.  Then once you meet people who have a number of these characteristics you can see how they score on the other points on your list.

Step 3:    What does your dream partner do?  What kind of education do you hope that they have?  What do they do in their spare time?  Is it important to you that they’ve been to college?  Do they need to be someone who is in a good secure job?  What about people who need to travel as part of their job, is this something you’d be prepared to live with for the right partner, or not.  Are you looking for someone who works regular hours and has free evenings and weekends, or don’t you mind if long hours and lost weekends are part of your normal routine?  What about anyone who’s still in college or currently unemployed?  What kind of interests would you like your dream partner to have?  Is this because you have similar interests?  Would you be happy with someone who had completely different interests and spent some of their free time on the golf course whilst you wandered around museums for example?

Step 4:    Think about the kinds of opinions that you have on issues important to you – such as political or religious beliefs.  How necessary is it to have your dream partner agree with you on these?  Are you happy to consider a partner who opposes you completely on these issues?  Could you see yourself involved with someone who doesn’t share your religion or wear the same color button on voting day?  Which of the opinions you have are the most important to you – are any of them strong enough that you wouldn’t consider a partner who didn’t believe the same as you on those particular issues?

Step 5:    The last thing for you to think about is the future.  For any relationship to endure, both parties need to be walking in the same direction headed for the same destination and that’s the purpose of this final step of defining your dream partner – to know where you’re going so that you find the partner who’s going to the same place!  Think long-term.  Where do you hope to see yourself 10 years from now?  You need to find a partner who is going to be in that same place!  This means that as part of defining your partner you need to think about the kind of person they would need to be now in order to be there with you in the future.

If you’ve worked through each of the 5 steps above you should now have a pretty clear idea of the kind of person your dream partner is.  You should know how you want them to look and act, what they believe about things, what kind of job they have and where they want to go with their lives.  It may have taken you some time to think about if you’ve done it properly, but it will save you from dating a lot of people who come nowhere close to your ideal partner – now you know what your ideal partner’s like!